Ask a Manager: Staying on Message Dear Manager, How do you handle having to stay "on message" when you don't agree with upper management? This is often a challenge to me, particularly because my personal style is so rooted in building trust and loyalty with the team. Still, I need to maintain the balance of effective leadership along these lines while staying loyal to my own leaders. It would be hypocritical of me to expect a kind of loyalty from my employees that I am unwilling to give to the people to whom I report.
Obviously, the very nature of this dilemma can make it difficult to follow all of the above rules at once. The last one above is perhaps the hardest to honor. By not throwing my management under the bus, I don’t just mean that I avoid bashing them. That is clearly unprofessional. What is more important to me is that I try not to tell my team anything along the lines of: “I don’t agree with this, but they are making me do it, so I am making you do it.” That compromises my own integrity, and it doesn’t help the company to be unified in its objectives. Ask a Manager: Have a workplace dilemma? Want to understand what goes on in the mind of a manager? Post your questions in the comments.
Weekly roundup - 11-6-2009
Additional reading and resources recommended by your faculty
The single biggest mistake when writing your performance review @ CubeRules.com Cube Rules seeks to help you reach that vaulted status of Cubicle Warrior – a person who not only survives, but thrives working in a cubicle. Personal Branding Blog The content provided on this blog includes podcasts, interviews with experts, insightful articles, research reports, games and much more, for all your personal branding needs. Dan Schawbel is the leading personal branding expert for Gen-Y, and author of Me 2.0: Build a Powerful Brand to Achieve Career Success (Kaplan, April 2009). Me 2.0 made the Amazon top 100 business book bestsellers list when it was released and was the #1 job hunting book. Detours & OnRamps Created by a mom for moms, with an ever-changing and regional roster of speakers who are working moms themselves, this is a site that offers ideas, insight, and inspiration. Sessions and applicability for working dads too. If you've been home for a bit and want to get back--or if you're sick of working 90+ hour weeks and want to know a bit more about this elusive "work life balance." The Office Cocktail Party
Instructor, Caroline Bender
 Wednesday is New Professionals' Day at the Finishing School, though we recognize that even the old soldier can learn a few new tricks. As we near end-of-year office celebrations (on or off site) we offer a few tips for getting through the cocktail hour. The New Professional navigating the political minefield of the workplace may find the snap decisions of the office social overwhelming -- so much potential to advance, stall, or cripple her success as a serious player. Gaining a reputation as someone who "doesn't go to these things" can put you out of contention for real opportunities in the big picture. The Seasoned Professional is not immune to this problem; especially in a new workplace where she has not yet learned the politics of this particular tribe. This lecture refers to the small on-site after work cocktail affair that usually lasts only a couple of hours. The Office Holiday Party, baby shower, annual sales meeting, trade convention, and talent show have additional concerns which should be covered separately. How to drink • There is no rule against it, but be mindful of your behavior. Act as if you have seen alcohol before, and are capable of buying it for yourself. It may be open bar, but it is not your sister's wedding. • Use the cups the caterers brought. Bringing your own cup went out with gatoring at the Delta House. • It is unnecessary to comment on the caliber of wine being served, as if you expected someone to have opened the wine cellar. If the stemware is plastic, it is red table wine. Drink it or don't. If the event is at the Boss's house, you love whatever it is and listening to her talk about it. • The best reason not to drink is that it affects your judgment. If you tend to lose advance notice of what you might say, do, or touch... keep your wits about you. How to eat • If you are going to drink, please do eat. • If you could afford to pick up your own dinner on the way home, yield the line to those who can't. The gang from the call center and the grad assistants' lounge count on buffets like this. • Anyone working through the night should be able to get in front of you and fill a larger plate than yours. • You can't handle a plate, a fork, and a glass. Pick finger food How to mingle • These events are bad enough without enforcing our own cliques on them. Try to break free from your own team, unless you have a new member. Hook them to you, and take them to people you know in other departments. • Approach those you know when they are talking to people you don't know. Simply stand next to them and smile. It's as simple as this: "I don't think we've met. I'm ______." If you have met, they will remind you. Or not. And it won't really matter. • "Where do you work," is an acceptable ice breaker, but only one generation removed from "What's your major?" Unless you want to give your own elevator speech, don't ask anyone else to give theirs. Go in a different direction. How to fraternize • I am fond of a scene in the film "Big," where Elizabeth Perkins' character corners the boss with a lot of talk about work. He says, "Have a drink, Susan. it's a party." • As long as everyone is mingling and drinking out of plastic stemware, this is the prime time to move into conversation with highers-up. Things they like to talk about: their kids, their sports, fixing up the house, vacation plans, and the weather. • Remember, too, that there are subordinates and other career climbers hoping to mingle with you, so don't shut them out. Be as gracious with them as you hope the executives will be with you. Things your staff like to talk about are their kids, their sports, fixing up the house, vacation plans, and the weather. How to flirt • Mingle + Fraternize x (eye contact + friendly arm touching). Take the rest of it off-line. Should I make a speech? • Are you good at it? Don't answer -- ask others. May I crash parties I wasn't invited to? You may not. Class dismissed. What is my Son Learning About Women?
by Michelle Morgan, Director/Editor, Tipsy Pix, Inc.
As I sit alone in my hotel room 3000 miles and 3 time zones away from home, I fear I lack the perspective necessary to really answer the question honestly, so I have forwarded it to JRo, Age 2. Two year-olds, like your boss and the guy in the cube down the hall, are fiercely opinionated yet lack the ability to fully articulate. And they can’t spell. Recognizing that, I have taken the liberty of fleshing out some of JRo’s thoughts. What I am learning about women from my mom is… •They are really committed to the Whole Foods Army. While nobly super-momish, it is powerfully smug and all it means is that she's spending too much of my Heavily Marketed (Yet Highly Coveted) Disney Toy money on free-range Cheerios. •They are really freakin’ competitive. Just because your mom pumped 15 times a day at work for the first 30 months of your life (that’s 2 1/2 years for you non-mothers) doesn’t mean that you are going to be more (insert adjective here). Mine only did it for 6 months and I can probably kick your butt all the way from the swings to the slide… ...but I wouldn’t because we don’t engage in aggressive play. •That they are pissed off at Dad... a lot. I don’t know what this is about and I wish it wouldn’t happen so often. Something about division of labor… •That despite how tired she looks, she still manages to get me to the pool, playground or story time AND have that 10 am conference call with some guy named The Azhol. •They like wine. [Mom replies: I have no problem with that last observation. It will get him a lot farther at cocktail parties than Calculus.] •They can multitask like nobody’s business! This is something I know a thing or two about as I can eat breakfast, watch a video and play with a remote control ambulance while mom dresses me. I know it’s cliché, but it is true. Take yesterday, for example. That woman (my mom) ordered my birthday invitations and paper goods (Yo Gabba Gabba, SCORE!) from her iPhone in O’Hare. By the time she landed in Seattle, she had ordered food for my kid party and family party from the online grocery. She had sent dad addresses and instructions for the invites so he could mail it all out before she got home (which didn’t happen, but whatever). She coordinated 3 separate caretakers, complete with instructions, and schedules including doctor’s appointments for big bro and me. Then she had a late night production meeting in her hotel room. Then, one of her colleagues had the nerve to suggest, “Motherhood has overwhelmed her.” Well, I oughta…! That colleague was a woman. With no kids. What I hope my son is learning about life from me. He's learning the importance of independence and trying something you might hate four times before concluding that you do, in fact, hate it. You need to eat healthily-not because that sweet guy with the tattoos like Daddy on The Biggest Loser tells you to, but because it actually tastes better. Also, eat as much as you want for breakfast and as little as you can for dinner. Solving the problem is more important than knowing the answer. Fat lips gotten in the pursuit of fun are okay. Fat lips gotten in the pursuit of hurting another person (or cat) are bad. Pick your battles wisely. If you do this, you will always win. If you can swim and play the piano, you will do well. If you can do both at the same time, you will make a great working parent some day. Downsized But Not Defeated (book review)
(c) 1997, Hope Stanley Quinn & Lyn Muller-Lochman
Necessity is truly the mother of invention. On the tender outside edge of the dot-com bubble, companies were still downsizing, and employees were being laid off. Author Hope Quinn's family went looking for a resource, and finding none, she compiled this book. Downsized but Not Defeated: The Family Guide to Living on Less  is still timely, though noticeably absent are any reference to internet resources, ARRA, universal health care, or other services you could cut from your expenses, like your iPhone or TiVo. But you may be glad for that, since this back-to-basics approach reminds you of the things you truly need and sets the tone for your post-employment financial life as well. Quinn and Miller-Lachman take a "You're OK" approach to keep you from panic, and assure you that downsizing your output when your income is cut is rational and manageable. Remember that we were all living beyond out means anyway, certainly in 1997. The book presents the personal stories we are accustomed to in self-help volumes. This reviewer personally finds it distracting, but it does give the text some narrative readability, and it can help the reader identify with the material. The 5 Stages of Grief are a true experience, even if we feel they have become a cliche. The book's opening chapoter allows you to "feel your feelings," so that you can get to the work ahead. And that work is what you would expect: live lower on your hierarchy, and spend a lot less money. But houw....? right? To break down your Luxuries and Necessities, the authors recommend simple listmaking. If something is truly a necessity, ask yourself if there is a way it can be maintained for less. If your daily coffee is a need, shop the cheaper vendor, whether that is Dunkin' Donuts, or 7-Eleven. If the karate class is contracted, you will have to see it through. If the class is expiring, maybe it is not a Necessity to renew. (another case made for paying in full when you can. If the end comes, you will have fewer monthly withdrawals to account for.) Some of the outdated advice you will find is a recommendation to convert cash to CDs for a long-term savings plan. This may still be an option, but note that CD rates are very low at present. Similar advice is given about home equity loans, though even in 1997, the authors caution against borrowing more than you can repay. The "Getting a Job" section is the most outdated, as you might expect, but there are still some common sense reminders that you have everything you need for your jobhunt. Buying more "stuff" to prepare is just a distraction. In each area of your budget, suggestions are offered for downsizing, for example, reduce entertainment costs with coupons, matinees, minor league sports, dining in/desserting out. Remember your contemporary resources as you review these suggestions: e.g. reading periodicals on-line. Two chapters are spent on food budgeting, and since food is typically 15% of the family expenses, this is an appropriate amount of space. Unfortunately for this review, Miss Bender subsists on hummus and seltzer, so she did not relate much to this section. But here are some "hey now" moments from my own reading. (the rest of you might find this website interesting) * Yes you do have time to bake bread. You are at home. * Budget shopping will take you longer than habitual shopping * Local and seasonal can be had, but may not cost less, and you need to have a flexible palate Community Support Agriculture can be expensive and requires a lot of adventurous spirit. For a couple of months, monitor your produce consumption to see how much you are spending and consuming before you invest in a collective. If you are not willing to learn how to prepare kale and pickle turnips, this may not be your thing. This book can be found online (see our carousel at right). Though some comments will feel out of date, it is not as a whole outdated. BWF recommends it for its practical approach, a structure that allows you to focus on the items relevant to your life (child care, and debt consolidation, for example) and read in an order that suits your priorities. We are recommending it because it is from a slightly earlier time in our cultural memory, which also helps remind us how cyclical these downturns are, and that we do (and have, and will) make it through. The Finishing School continues to stress to our students that your preparation for a downsizing should occur while you are employed. This means 1. Living within your means 2. Saving appropriately 3. Simpifying your expenses 4. Buying to last It is your best defense against feeling vulnerable to any of life's surprises (including illness, disability, and disaster). When your rainy days are over, you will be habitiated toward starting to prepare again. Related articles Preparing for the Worst Meal Planning and Nutrition Employment at Will ~~CB Career Path Stepping Stones
Instructor, Caroline Bender
Career path stepping stones can occur in expected places. What is important to understand about the stepping stone metaphor is that the stones are already there. You run into trouble when you try to carry them into the river with you.  If you have been following this story, you recall that 20 years into the world of work, Miss Bender is suddenly out of it -- but not for the first time. Planning the next move at times like this can be treacherous, especially when you have a poor track record of planning your next move. Top Recruiter Bob Beaudine, in his book The Power of Who (see carousel at right) reminds us that we can not make these decisions alone. He writes, "...If you're going to fulfill your destiny in life, you're going to need some wise friends and advisers to help you see a vision of your future that, perhaps, you can't see yourself." It is only now, repackaging myself anew after all these years, that I can see the path those randomly placed stones laid out. Stone 1: Assistant Instructor for a state university Found by: Contact at the university pointing it out to me. This was a literal career path - step one of a graduate student's tenure track. Led to: Institutional transfer. I liked teaching more than I expected to, and the program was a good one, but I knew that I had not chosen it for myself and felt that I should conduct a more purposeful approach to graduate school goals if I was going to pursue them. Left the school, state, time zone and started over. Stone 2: Matriculated and Rejected Found by: Mail. And unfortunately after I had already moved away. Accepted into the program as a student, but not as an instructor, which was to be my source of income. Led to: Internal applications My academic advisor tipped me off that employees were entitled to tuition reimbursement. If I could get hired before the bill was due, I could stay. Stone 3: Junior Secretary Found by: Eye contact, Southern manners, and 65 wpm Led to: Career A  It did pay for my purposely chosen graduate program -- the one I never once worked in -- and that valuable female accessory, the master's degree.Stone 4/Career A: Student Affairs Officer Found by: Opportunity + Credentials + Hard Campaigning Led to: Career expansion After nearly 4 years in that role, I began to evaluate my resume against others' in the field with an eye toward filling in those gaps. With complete support of my manager, I waged an old-fashioned national search. Stone 5: Student Affairs Officer Found by: Shoe leather and a box of Crane's. In those days, in that industry, we cattle-called at national conventions. After more than 30 interviews of various call-back levels, I managed to be hired by a school right across town. Led to: total collapse. Famously described elsewhere. Stone 6: Unemployment Found by: Walking away. Known in my circles as "selfish, immature, and unprofessional." Until you understand what it led to. Led to: Volunteer for life position, now in its 13th year. Stone 7: Reader/Director, media access  Found by: Following a fantasy I had harbored for years. The kind that in the movies have people opening a jam business or a bookstore.Led to: Career B With the experience, the connections, the references, and the confidence, I made the move into the best job-match I have ever known. Stone 8/Career B: Audio Describer ("that's a job?" "Yes, that's a job?" "The words on screen thing?" "No, that's captioning.") Found by: Synergy. My father and I simultaneously, and miles apart, saw a demonstration of the service and got to talking about it. With time on my hands, I was able to wage another campaign. Led to: Career C Not directly, of course. But what career B taught me was a new relationship with my work, and the things I needed to feel successful. It also brought me out of the technological dark ages of 1990s higher ed and into a world of email, QuikConference, Meeting Manager, MS Office, and the Internet. Stone 9/Career C: Internet Applications The stones get very pebbly and the water rapid at this part of the stream. There are a lot of zigzagging hops that can be broken down in another article. 2 Companies, 5 titles, lots of departments and managers, lots of steps back and mossy missteps. But I want to get to a tidy 10, so I will put them together here as one rockfall. Found by: It started with a colleague from Career A, and progressed with help of similar relationships and lots of encouragement, a few campaigns more cloaked than I had waged in the past.
Led to: Topping out.  So here we are again. And a resume that a week ago looked like a Cheesecake Factory Menu now seems more like a progressive dinner. The moral of the story? You may feel like you are hastily jumping to the next little piece of high ground, without identifying the move that comes after it (and when you do spot it, it might feel very far away). Remember that you are bringing yourself closer to the other side, and learning a lot more about river crossing as you do. Related Posts: First I was Afraid Master's Degree Required... Be the Chicken Lady Executives Common Pitfalls of the Internal Transfer Ask a Manager: What makes a Good Manager? Dear Manager, What makes someone a good manager? How do you know if you would be good at it-what qualities should you have? How do you know if you're doing a good job? How did you know you wanted to manage people? The most important thing I look for in a manager is the ability to see past the end of one’s own nose. It is about understanding others, being comfortable supporting others, and letting others take the credit for their own great work. I cringe when I see a manager who seems to think it is all about himself. To me, it’s just the opposite. You support and motivate your team so they can do great work and in the end, you are responsible for something great. You get recognized enough for that. Put another way, I look for generosity. That is not to say that there is no room for a healthy sprinkling of ego. As great employees become great managers, I have seen that confidence as an individual contributor turn to pride and confidence in the entire team. The key here is that the manager should know his own ego and understand how to balance it with the needs of the team. He needs to have the perception skills and emotional intelligence to understand the varying styles and needs of the members of the team and make it all work. If I feel that an individual contributor is too caught up in himself, I generally will not expect him to be the kind of manager I want on my team. You know that a manager is doing a good job when you see smiling employees. Ok that sounds really corny, but it’s true. I check in with my front-line folks to see how my managers are doing for them, and I know right away which managers are making it happen and which ones are not. Of course, when I am asking them from up in the tower, employees don’t openly bash their managers when they don’t like them. I still get my answers though. A positive response to the question, “how’s it going with your manager?” is clear and immediate. A negative response involves at least some measure of arm-crossing and squirming. These are the folks who tell me that their manager is “Good-yeah-good-mmhmm” in an uncharacteristic falsetto. That’s when I know I’ve got a problem. The employees who are happy with their managers let you know right away. They have a special glow to them. What? Can’t anyone else see that? Oh well, just me. The important thing to factor in however is that the success of a manager has to be measured as a combination of the stability of his employees and the quality of work product. Happy employees don’t count for much if the business is all shot to hell. Effectiveness of the team is of course paramount, but I find that if you have a strong leader who supports the team properly while remaining focused on the work, the quality will take care of itself. I think I knew I wanted to manage people from a very young age. I was always a responsibility junkie, I liked to help people, and I liked being the center of attention. I had a paper route when I was 12, and over time I grew it as a business and hired two of my neighbors to work for me for a salary of $20 each per week. A few years later, working in a supermarket after school and on weekends, I took a great deal of pride in having earned the privilege of “holding keys”. I think what really locked it in for me came later on in some of my early professional jobs as a manager, when I would see the results of my coaching in real, tangible improvement in my employees. I was actually able to give people some insight into themselves and help them to see things a different way that helped them to grow. That was pretty cool. To this day, that is still what makes me love it. I don’t really care what the work product is, as long as I have a chance to build a team and develop the strengths of the individuals on it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Carousel
Blog ArchiveFollowers
Labels
|