Parquet Shortstop

Instructor, Caroline BenderNearly 30 years ago, a well-meaning (but now painfully outdated) book called Games Mother Never Taught You attempted to explain the mysteries of the male corporate world to us career gals. Among the skills we were advised to learn were "locker room talk" and the art of the sports metaphor.Most days I think I fall back too easily on my sports metaphors, to the point of cliche. But recently I stumbled onto one which summed up for me an experience I had been trying to define and express for the past year.I realized why I felt so crowded, so frustrated, so elbowed on the job. "I am a baseball player," I said to my Boss....

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10 Great Working Woman Movies

an occasional list of diversions from the Faculty and Staff of the BWFS&SC1. The Best of EverythingIndeed, the best of the best. And doesn't Hope look great in those wool suits?2. Woman of the YearThere are a lot of Kate Hepburn at work movies. This is the queen.3. Working GirlThe movie that taught us there is no sisterhood in the workplace.4. 9 to 5The movie that taught us there is.5. Private BenjaminCan a woman find her self-identity through her work? Even if it is in the Army?6. The ApartmentBecause Shirley MacLaine is the center of the panelled universe, moral-wise.7. Designing WomanPeck & Bacall? You're thinking, "I've never seen...

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The Little Email Thread That Could

Instructor, Caroline Bender This is the story as it was told to me -- with the usual changing of names, ranks, and serial numbers.An Individual Contributrix (Trixie) was working on a high profile project for someone other than her boss. The sponsor said, "Let me know when you get into trouble," and so she did. When another department planted its feet in the way of progress, Trixie knew that she could not just plead at her own level across the hierarchy. She needed the project sponsor to do a little politicking at his tier in order to get the blockage removed. But the sponsor was not at his desk, and his calendar showed him as out for the next...

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Be the Chicken

Instructor, Caroline BenderI would like to comment briefly on the new business allegory that is making the rounds, and of which I am already sick to death. This is the kind of Move My Cheese story told by blustery Boss/Presenters to inspire and delight us into giving "more" (which see our earlier entry on getting a life).The parable uses the commitment made by both the Pig and the Chicken toward the outcome of the project, in this case a bacon and egg breakfast. Presenter makes the point that while the chicken "showed up" for the endeavor, the pig "really committed."Presenter will stick her tongue in her cheek and wiggle her eyebrows, meaning...

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Free Speech on the Job

Instructor, Caroline BenderOrdinarily, you might expect me to approach this topic in the tone of "you should be above board" and "don't put anything in email you can't answer for..." and generally that is Miss Bender's attitude. But I am a little annoyed with the Company these days, and I have decided to take a more educational (and practical) approach instead, and offer tips for beating the system.Years ago, when the Law began supporting the Company on the topic of email privacy and network ownership, we all got a little worried that we were being watched. This website alone may be grounds for my dismissal; not carefully hiding my identity and...

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Master's degree Required/Some Heavy Lifting

Instructor, Caroline BenderThere is a lot I don't remember anymore. Not like a blackout, or even "it's all a blur." I still remember the facts of things every day, snapshot incidents that characterize how it all dissolved.I remember that I used to get the dry heaves in the morning, just before brushing my teeth, and that I cried at my desk at least once a day. I remember that once I did hide in the footwell and found the enclosed dark space very comforting. But the real feeling of that pain -- say, the feeling that drives you to leave the building in the middle of the workday to go to a poolhall to shoot people with video guns -- I don't have...

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Want to manage? Consider these five things

By Ms. Trienta Y. HeureuxDirector of Department Zed, Geldstrafe CollegeI am a manager.I manage people, programs, money, staff developments and staff meetings. I hire, I fire, I hold people accountable, and I tell them when they’ve done well. I make decisions, sometimes going against what others think. I am able, and sometimes required, to make people do things that they don’t want to do, don’t think make sense and actually, in some cases, hate.I manage up.I deal with politics, with relationships, and with protecting my office and my staff. I manage those above me in areas different from my own who still believe that because they are higher on...

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When work is your life

Fireside chat with Ms. Minchin, Miss Minchin's younger, hipper sister. Let's start with a quiz. For each question you answer "yes" to, give yourself 5 points. For each "No" give yourself 0 points. Workers in philanthropic or life-saving jobs are exempt.1. I think about work anytime I am not at work. yes/no2. I talk about annoying things that happened at work every night when I come home. yes/no3. I drag myself to work in the morning because I hate it there. yes/no4. At lunch with my co-workers, we only talk about things we hate about our company. yes/no5. On the weekends, I mostly spend my time recovering and preparing for the week of work ahead,...

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Employment at Whose Will?

Instructor, Caroline BenderRecently, I found myself at an unpredicted professional crossroads which required me to explore several contingency plans, most of which led to the same outcome: leaving my job.Our departmental director suddenly vacated his postion, leaving his lieutenant in charge...untapped, only by default. Even though the lieutenant was assured by the company president that his ascendancy to the director's position was only a matter of paperwork, this same president left his own job within a week of making his flimsy promise.As an Employee At Will, I know I am daily vulnerable under any circumstances, but this turn of events seemed...

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Thursday Night Sex

Guest Lecturer, Scottie from Inside SalesYou shouldn’t have sex with someone you work with. I know that now.Because the next morning there she is at the staff meeting, or the coffee room, or god forbid the elevator. And she knows that you know that she has a tattoo of Woodstock flying upside-down on, of all places, the side of her breast – but not her breast, but her rib, or her whatsicus. Wherever it is, it looks like it fell out of her armpit when you pull her top off over her head.Allison works in Purchasing. She’s the only one worth looking at in there, and that’s not saying much. Rita, with the wrist cast, runs the place – runs the women...

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Today’s glass ceiling

guest lecturer, Emma DavidsonMy family consisted of two immigrant parents. Both came to the States in their early twenties, all because they wanted to create a better and easier life for their children. I was the first of three and the only girl. In fact, out of all the cousins on the East Coast, I was the oldest and the only girl for 20 years. There was a lot of pressure put on me – my parents, grandparents and all the aunts and uncles had dreams for me. To go to college, meet a nice man, get married and have babies.What they didn’t expect was that I was going to be part of the most significant driving force in my generation. That force is the...

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Are you in a Cult?

Session 4: Staying Grounded from 9 to 5Instructor, Caroline Bender Isn’t it great when you love your job? When you feel that “groove” of knowing exactly the right thing to say or do, how to motivate others toward your goals, and support others in theirs? How good you feel about yourself when you’re there…how you think about it when you’re not there…how it is the first thing you think about in the morning… and how sometimes when you can’t sleep at night, you try just a little of it, to help you unwind? You know… like alcohol .Perhaps your current employer, even your entire professional field, has that added component of charisma that convinces...

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Workplace Dangers: Idea stealers

Freshman Seminar with Miss Minchin - Session 2It's happened to nearly everyone. You pitch an idea to your boss, or share a thought with your colleague and next thing you know that other person is taking credit for it as their own. What does one do in this situation? Well, there are several approaches:Vigilante approach: Demand justice at high noon. Set out to expose the idea stealer’s traitorous ways, regardless of whether he or she is your boss. Set out on a smear campaign designed to make others see him for the slimy weak thoughtless leech that he is. Be sure to jump up and shout "that was my idea" and offer to "take it outside" when it happens....

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Actually a Cowboy

Session 3: Deciphering the Dress CodeInstructor, Caroline Bender Now that it is mid-summer, it’s likely you have received the dress code memo – the one that vaguely scolds you for violating a policy you were unaware of until receiving the memo, and without telling you how you did so.Used to be that when you were reprimanded, you knew it. Used to be that when they didn’t like what you were wearing, they sent you home.Do as I implyToday, the Company is confusingly schizophrenic about dress. It wants to have that flexible-and-fun reputation, but also wants you to be the kind of employee who doesn’t really take advantage of it. So they send this:if...

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Workplace Dangers: The "Predatory Mentor"

Freshman Seminar with Miss Minchin - Session 1 While the idea of forming a relationship with a more experienced professional to guide you as you traverse the treacherous waters of corporate life may be appealing, one must take care to avoid the dangers.MentoringWhat was once a common technique in ensuring the "old boys network" of yesteryear has been transformed into a powerful tool for women to help each other break through the glass ceiling. At its best, mentoring is an altruistic commitment to help develop another's skills and career, while only acting in the best interest of the mentee. At its worst, it is a tool of manipulation, politics...

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