20 Questions for Academics

Since our relaunch last fall, the Finishing School has enjoyed broadening our student body beyond the gray fabric walls of the cubicle.  Just when we think we know what we are experts on, you remind me that the workplace is not, in fact, universal.
Some of our contributing faculty are, in real-life, faculty.  Miss Bender sighs wistfully at them from across the staff room, wondering if she made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.  (Waltham, it actually was).

Listen in on the first of what we hope will be many “So You Want to Be A….” installments.  As long as the market is down, why not shop around?  (And make our Miss Bender feel less like she begged for private therapy?)

Meet Cathie and Robin,  colleagues at “a comprehensive regional university offering a rich, student-focused learning environment with an enrollment of approximately 4,300 undergraduate and more than 2,000 graduate students.”  We cornered them and their chosen professions for a round of 20 Questions, then we made it look like they were together.  That’s how we do in Virtual Academia – but we don’t lie to you about it.

CB:  How long have you been in your current field?
Cathie: It depends on what you mean by my current field.
Robin: About 10 years as an English professor.
Cathie:  I have been at my current employer for 13 years and then was in graduate school, preparing for my current field, for 5 years before that.

CB:  Have you ever worked in the “traditional office” environment so familiar to Miss Bender – the corporate cubicle, 9-5, and all that comes with that?
Robin: Not really. Though I have had regular jobs since I was 15, never very cubicle-oriented.
Cathie: I worked as a software developer/manager for 5 years and then as a grant writer for 2 years.

CB:  Anything you miss about it?
Cathie: Not really. I loved the problem-solving aspect of developing software and the feeling of accomplishment that I got when I finished some task. But that doesn't really have anything to do with a cubicle environment.  I sometimes miss software development but I do some for myself now. But I don't always have projects in mind to work on and other responsibilities often get in the way of focusing on a software project.

CB: Are there aspects of that environment that would benefit Academe?
Cathie: The sense of having to get things done on more than an individual level. In academia, we can be pretty slow to change things that need to be changed.

Robin:  I think it's good to appreciate and try different kinds of work, so you can be sure you end up doing something suitable to you.

CB: Most of our contributors work in those sorts of office cultures, and may think the grass is greener on the other side of your fence. Is it?
Robin: Well, yes.
CB:  Ok, maybe I mean me.
Cathie: I love the flexibility of my side of the fence although I think I work harder mentally now than I ever did on the other side. And it's sometimes difficult to do things and not see immediate tangible results. That happens a lot with education, because students don't always see the benefit of what we do immediately. But it is very satisfying when they come back after graduation to talk about how important what we've taught them was.

CB:  I have to admit I often draw on that from my own tour of academia – I remember that sometimes you don’t see the results for years.  Sometimes you never do, but it doesn’t mean there weren’t results.

CB: I think there are certain aspects of the campus culture that The Suits never understand if they haven’t lived it.  I remember that when I was in student affairs, I would tell stories about my students’ problems, or issues we were dealing with, like “cultural sensitivity” or administrative politics, and my corporate friends would answer with “you can’t just fire them?”
Cathie: I think outsiders (including the students) don't understand how much time we think about and talk about individual students, trying to figure them out, trying to figure out how to present information to them in a way that they can succeed, that will motivate them. I know a lot about my colleagues' students even when I don't personally know the students themselves because we talk about them all the time. So it's very surprising to me when I ask an advisee what the name of their math professor is and they don't know. We definitely think about them more than they think about us.

Robin:  I think it's true that we have more time off than in other fields. But on the other hand, there is actually NO time off. Like zero. I have gone to weddings with bags of papers to grade. I have been on vacation with piles of books that I had to read (even if I detested them). I have spent most evenings at home working on student papers, and most summers madly catching up with my own scholarship. We have a lot of autonomy and a lot of flexibility, and yes, even a lot of free time. But in other ways, we never, ever enjoy the feeling of having nothing work-related to do.

CB: Did you have any idea how immersive it was going to be? What kind of fantasy about your profession did you have going in, that your reality has disproven?
Robin:  That there would be time to sit around with other smart people and ruminate. Not much ruminating amongst the busy-work. Students and faculty alike are pretty maxed out at my university in terms of workload and time, so there isn't a lot of sherry-drinking, pipe-smoking, and pondering.
Cathie: [I thought] I would work less than when I was in software development or grant writing. That I would have summers "off".

CB:  Do you ever think about leaving the field for “the big money”? What keeps you from doing it?
Robin: Sure I do. I can't do anything that qualifies me for big money. [Ha ha] Mainly, I love my job.

CB: I often say I should have learned a practical trade.
Cathie:  I was making the "big money" as a software developer and it didn't make me happy. I make a decent living now--I don't need more money.

CB:  What does it mean to know you have a “job for life.”
Cathie: This is a difficult one for me because in every job that I've had, I never really thought I would lose it except through layoffs. We in the education field, even with tenure, are not immune to layoffs. The university could close completely or shut down my department and tenure would not help me keep my job. Even before I had tenure, I felt that I would not lose my job (even when I spoke my mind) unless something drastic happened.
Robin:  I prefer to think that I only have my job as long as I am good at it. The other way of thinking is a slippery slope to hell.

CB:  How do you keep it fresh and interesting?
Robin: Well, the students help with that, since they turn over every year, and they truly are unique from person to person and from generation to generation. Also, I like to stay current with scholarship, since all fields are constantly evolving. I think if you do this job well, you really wouldn't have the same year twice.
Cathie: My previous discipline, computer science, is constantly changing and so I was always doing something new, not always by choice. I have recently changed disciplines, to digital media studies, and so I'm still learning, still becoming acclimated to the new field.

CB:  When you counsel students entering your field, what advice do you offer?
Cathie: Be passionate about being creative and hardworking. If you like to work hard and think hard about ideas, you could do well. But with the field as tight as it is these days, if you aren't self-motivated and diligent, you probably won't make it.  Also, you really have to love teaching and sharing ideas. Really. Love. It. Teaching isn't what you do to support your scholarship; that kind of thinking would lead to misery. For most of us in the Humanities, teaching is what you do a lot of the time, and you have to want to be there, and think of it as an asset to your own scholarly development.
Robin: Communication and media studies (my new discipline) is valuable no matter what they decide to do when they graduate. So I suggest that they try to create a curriculum for themselves that will expose them to the things they think they are interested in. And I suggest they do an internship (at least one--some of them do several).

CB:  The rest of the world is jealous of Sabbatical. Why do you think this hasn’t caught on in the rest of the work world?
Robin: Maybe they aren't as smart as us. But seriously, folks. ..

Cathie: Great question.   
Robin: Sabbatical is something I always thought of as an enormous privilege-- maybe even an elitist privilege... But now that I have had one, I realize that it would be good for just about anyone in any field, and would probably yield greater productivity, retention, etc. for most employers. Could even be cost-effective in the long run. Someone should do a study. But not me. I am still on sabbatical.
Cathie: It is so valuable for rejuvenating people and helping them become more productive when they come back from sabbatical. I think, however, that most people think sabbatical means you don't do any work. That's not true. Instead, it is a time when, freed from the normal teaching and service duties, a person has time to work on some sustained project, usually scholarly in nature.

CB: Is that why it has survived in academia?
Cathie: Yes, because good work comes out of them.
Robin:  Sabbaticals actually work-- they produce good scholarship, better teaching, prestige (and admissions) for the universities. But I wouldn't be surprised if they start abating as the economy declines and the right wing gets more snippy about the intellectual elitism (or intellectual growth) of the country. I know tenure is under fire now; I am sure sabbaticals will be on the firing line soon.

CB:  Describe a good day on the job.  I’ll close my eyes….
Robin: A balance of collegial discussion about pedagogy, teaching a class on a stimulating topic, working on my own research, and leaving with enough time left to spend social time with family and friends.
Cathie: A good day is when I have a class planned that I'm excited about and it works--the students understand and are excited about the material. A good day is when I have no committee meetings but can find some time to do a bit of scholarship, some task on whatever current project I'm working on.

CB:  Now be fair – describe a bad day
Robin: Rushing. Being unprepared for class. No time to get to my own work. 50 student papers to grade by the next day. Rushing home for fast dinner, then grading all night while my daughter plays alone with her stuffed animals. Oh, and also, a student walks out of my Feminism class because he says I make him want to throw up.
Cathie: Classes don't go well for whatever reason. Many committee meetings on committees whose work is vague, unclear and unproductive. And I have lots of grading so I spend my free moments doing that rather than something I like.

CB: When you imagine yourself in a completely different professional field, what do you think is most likely?
Cathie: I would be a star on Broadway. Just kidding. Software development again. I gotz skills.
Robin: Gynecologist.

CB: When do these kind of thoughts occur to you?
Robin: When I occasionally feel that my work is too abstract, I wish I were involved in a more grassroots career, that would have a clearer and more immediate impact on the quality of life for people who have been disenfranchised.
Cathie: They don't actually. I'm very happy in academia, even on the bad days.


CB:  Another question that is probably more about me…. Do your parents still send you clippings and classifieds, under the impression that you are “still looking?”
Cathie:  No--they don't really understand what I do but they didn't when I was a software developer either.
Robin:  No, they finally stopped. But they are fond of telling people that their daughter "is a doctor, but not a real one." Shoot. Is this why I just answered that I wish I were a real doctor? Ugh.

CB:  Care to share a favorite fantasy about a personal win in your profession?
Cathie: Interesting question. I guess I have two. One is that there is an issue before the faculty that I feel strongly about. I stand up in a faculty meeting and, using my powers of persuasion, I convince the hostile crowd of the wisdom of my opinion. The second is that I write an academic book that captures popular attention. Appearances on Diane Rehm and Charlie Rose follow.
Robin: I have realized that more accolades lead to more responsibility which ironically leads to increased criticism. Also true: success --> failure.

CB: Is that the name of your still-to-be-written memoirs?
Robin: Memoirs. (Ha ha ha) And no, THAT is not the title.
Cathie: How do you know they are still-to-be-written?

CB:  There were only 19 questions – does that bother you?
Robin: The fact that you are a liar is, I will admit, irksome.
Cathie: No, but only because you've asked this question which makes it 20.

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Another Satisfied Candidate

Guest Lecturer Marie Hills reflects on 13 months on the unemployment rolls.

I was laid off in May 2009 so I took advantage of having a summer off. In retrospect, if I knew how long it was going to take to find a job I would have started right away. After 3 months, I got started – nearly a year since the last time I had looked for work.

I looked for organizations that were financially viable/healthy. Before I applied for a position, I researched the organization’s financials. I also sent out emails to friends and former colleagues to see if anyone had contacts at certain organizations. By using a contact name, I was able to personalize my cover letters. I felt like this search was more about who I knew vs. what I knew. Having an “in” was a key at having your resume looked at even if it didn’t lead to an interview.

Some people recommended that I “dumb down” my resume. I’m extremely proud of the positions I’ve held and the things I’ve accomplished professionally. Dumbing down my resume felt like I was selling myself short – it was an injustice to my accomplishments.

During my numerous phone interviews I heard two things:
1) you’re a fundraiser; and
2) I don’t think we can afford you.

I did not want to go back into fundraising. I did it for years and it took me awhile to get out of that area. There were numerous positions that I saw and liked, but the minute it mentioned fundraising it was added to the NO pile. The only way I would have gone back into fundraising is if my unemployment benefits ran out and I had no choice.

I was willing to take a pay cut from my last job, but I refused to go below a certain level. Believe it or not, over the last 15+ years, I have taken 3 pay cuts to work at organizations that I wanted to work at. The last two pay cuts were worth it. We’ll see about this one. For me it’s all about where I am, not about how much I make.
This job market requires “Reflexiablity.” There has to be a give and take relationship between job responsibilities and salary requirements.

Of course, I had to make some concessions at home as well.

a) During the winter, I kept my heat down so the bill wouldn’t be too high. I wore a lot of layers to keep warm.
b) I took advantage of my gym’s “hardship” membership. (Was able to get a reduced rate when I showed unemployment paperwork.)
c) Purchased as many sale items at the grocery store as possible.
d) Told my family not to get me holiday/birthday presents because I couldn’t afford to give a present in return.
e) Only purchased clothing when needed.
f) Limited the number of times I went out with friends and where we went.

As summer came back around again, I was prepared to cut deeper – to cancel my gym membership when my “hardship” membership has expired. Using the AC only at night during the summer or only when necessary.

Two things surprised me the most :
1) the number of people applying for one position and
2) that it took me as long as it did to find a job.

 I had a phone interview with one organization that told me I was 1 of 300+ applicants. The organization was speaking with 24 applicants via phone and then planned on bringing 5 or 6 people in for in-person interviews. Being 1 of 24 made me feel like I accomplished something even if I didn’t get an in-person interview.

I even looked out-of-state, focusing my search on 4 geographic locations. I got a call for a phone interview from an organization in New York City. Oddly enough, the interviewer was a friend of a friend. The interviewer wanted me to meet with staff in the area office vs. a visit to NYC. The following week I received an email from HR saying," thank you for applying, but we decided to go in a different direction." I emailed the interviewer with this news and never heard back.

 Even if employers are overwhelmed with applicants, I think they should still get back to applicants that they have spoken with on the phone. (I did hear back via email from 2 phone interviews that they hired someone else. These are organizations that I will look at the next time I interview.)

After 10 months of searching I made it to one (One!) on-site interview. This was after several phone interviews – some of which said I would be contacted to schedule an in-person interview, but nothing ever happened. These places also ignored follow-up emails.

Truthfully, I had no other choice but to keep going. I found a job because I feared I would become homeless. I know that sounds dramatic. I was able to survive on unemployment by watching how I spent my money, but I knew my benefits would eventually run out. I was smart enough to have several months of savings. I don’t own a home so I didn’t have to worry about foreclosure. If I had no benefits and ran through my savings, my options of where to go were very slim. My family lives out of state and doesn’t have the space for another full-time adult. I’m too proud to ask friends for help. (Trust me when I say, at this point, I would have gotten several part-time jobs to survive.)

But in the end, I was able to re-connect with old friends through the found time and the drive to network. I also had the time to evaluate what I wanted in life. I wasn't even planning on applying for this job until a friend mentioned it. I think people need to listen to friends and take advantage of their intuition. It paid off for me.

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From the Deans' Office

(2 deans; 1 office.  Know your apostrophe rules…)

Greetings to our loyal student body.  This is Caroline Bender, your Dean of Admissions, providing an apologetic update for our absence.  Academics do tend to break for the summer, but we might have told you we were going to.


We might have been more transparent about what is going on here on campus, to assure you we haven’t left forever.

You recall that Miss Bender joined the ranks of the Unemployed in October of last year, and this provided a lot of time and content material to give to you.  What it didn’t provide is payroll, so she took the first opportunity offered and returned to the cubicle. 

This has also provided a lot of material, but it takes me time to think through these things before they become public topics; and time, while plentiful, is not generous.  This commute calls for a little dictation software and an iPhone. 

Meanwhile, Miss Minchin was fighting her own Battle of Fallujah and working on an escape clause, even if she didn't realize it at the time.  Just a few weeks ago, our Dean of Students began a new role, summer began, and we have been giving the curriculum a break.

We expected you were too -- with kids at home, summer holidays, vacation spending, home projects, perhaps still job hunting....

Our congratulations to both Ian and Pilar, who completed their unemployment stint at last, and to the government for their continued extensions.  We want you to understand it is very tough out there -- still.  The "job creation numbers" you have been hearing about were a quarter of a million census jobs that have now ended.  Those jobs no longer exist and that workforce is out of work again.  Scattershot layoffs are still occuring in our workplaces, particularly in sales teams where numbers are everything and if you do not make the cut, you walk off the field.

Then comes the adjustment period -- the "feeling new."  I've been wanting to write about this since March, and now Minchin is in the same boat.  As you might expect, it is difficult for a couple of schoolmarms such as we are to both make the adjustment and reflect on it, much less sound wise while doing it.  So bear with us.  In the meantime, of course, YOUR wisdom is always welcome.  When was the last time you were new at anything on the job?  Was it ever the role, the company, and the industry all at the same time? 

It's a wonder I get out of bed at all, but if I don't there is all kinds of traffic to sit in.  And it made me understand what you mean by feeling there is no space for writing the blog-length essay on the things so much on your mind.

Our readers' survey was clear on the kinds of things you would like to read more about, and it is NEW ideas.  NEW approaches to the problems we know so well, and that means much more creative thinking from our entire community. Now we are in the full stretch of summer and I have a few hours today to put out some personal calls for content.

As we search for the New, we are also taking a new approach to requesting your content.  We have had much success with our 20 questions approach -- where I provide a questionnaire as a form of interview and you feel more like you are emailing than writing.   So I encourage you, when you receive your personalized questionnaire during your regular FB/email time, that you give a holla back.  I'll do all the rest.

If you are a traditionalist essay-writer and would like to drive your own content.... well, then where the heck have you been?  We need you.  Please also post your local networking events on our Facebook page for the benefit of others.

Thanks for staying with us.  With your help, we can get the fall semester started.

related posts from our contributors
Commuting: Good, Bad..Ugly
Creative Commuting
Ian's Job Hunt Story

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You’re Just Not That Into Me (the introvert’s guide to attending a conference)

Guest Blogger, Lisa Petrilli, C-Level Strategies & Awakenings

The faculty and staff of BWFS&SC welcome to the blogosphere Lisa Petrilli and her site, newly launched and already generating volumes of commentary and an envious amount of Twitter Traffic.  Lisa kindly gave permission to reprint the article below.  See its original form and the comments it generated here.
We are adding C-Level Strategies to our blogroll, and look forward to a shared student body.

 Mack Collier wrote an exceptional post last week called, “The Introvert’s Guide to Speaking.” As both a speaker and an introvert myself, I found the post very relatable and was touched by Mack’s raw candor in regard to his speaking fears.

There is another fear that most introverts (and many extroverts) have when attending a conference or networking event that I’d like to address; the fear that no one will want to talk to us.  You know what I’m talking about, right?

To be honest, I used to avoid networking events if I was not absolutely sure that someone I knew would be there – someone for me to “hang out with.” This was a real detriment to my career as it drastically limited my exposure to executives outside of my little “bubble,” and prevented me from making wonderful new business connections.

Here’s what I dreaded: the moment when you walk into a room and you search the faces of people who are there, looking for someone who seems interested and willing to talk with you.  And what I always got back (in reality, what I thought I was getting back) was the professional version of “I’m just not that into you…”

It played in my head as, “these execs don’t think I’m at a high enough level to be interesting,” “they are not interested in my connections,” “they don’t see any value in getting to know me…”

All of this changed for me the day I was hired by Andy Whitman to work with MENG, the Marketing Executives Networking Group.  When you’re consulting for a company with the word “networking” in its name you’d better know a thing or two about it!  Working with Andy was a tremendous blessing because he is an extraordinary networker and I was able to watch and learn from the best.

What did I learn from Andy Whitman that all introverts should know?

1.  Virtually everyone – executives, assistants, musicians, introverts, extroverts, you name it - is uncomfortable to various degrees at networking events and conferences because it forces us as humans to go outside our comfort zone.  Thus, I was not alone.

2.  Many people have a hard time being the one to extend themselves and have that same “they’re just not into me” tape playing in their head.

3.  If I extended myself – made the first effort to extend my hand, introduce myself and offer a very genuine smile, 90% of the time I was actually helping the other person out immeasurably! I was putting others at ease.

4.  When I learned to enthusiastically make that first, warm, genuine introduction of myself, what I received back was invariably a warm, genuine “it’s so nice to meet you” in response! It was like magic I had never known about…no one had actually been sending me an “I’m not into you” signal – it was all in my head!

A few weeks ago I had the great fortune of attending SOBCon 2010 – a small conference made up of some of the greatest minds in social media, many well-known social media “celebs” included.  I was admittedly quite nervous about attending but I extended myself on every occasion possible and you know what?  I discovered that many of the social media ”celebs” are actually quite shy themselves!

Instead of just assuming that “they weren’t into me” because I wasn’t a celeb, I introduced myself and received back such warm and often enthusiastic responses, that it was clear they appreciated my effort. 

So, my dear introverted friends, the next time you are invited to a networking event or you go to a conference:
1. Go - don’t back down and make an excuse not to go, you’ll miss out on the opportunity to meet amazing people who could become great collaborators or even friends. Take advantage of all the networking opportunities that the event or conference offers you.

2. Walk in the room with a genuine, warm smile.

3. Extend your hand, smile, and say “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met, I’m so and so, it’s so nice to meet you” and see what unfolds for you!

Wishing you exciting new experiences! Please share your thoughts and experiences  in the comments - I’d love to know if any of you have had similar experiences and how you’ve handled them!

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Reader Feedback Survey

or... where we've been.

Many thanks for completing our survey -- as we hoped, we learned a lot.
We saw a nice participation from our Facebook page, and this was also as we had hoped. We claim 128 fans right now (in the new FB parlance, people who like us) but because you are not very active on the page itself, Facebook's metrics are not offering us much, except how much they would like us to advertise to you. 50% of you had been directed to the Finishing School by either Minchin or Bender, but we do not know you all, and we find that exciting and encouraging. It means that our original readers and contributors have spread the word and they told two friends....

40% of those who answered our survey are Facebook fans, some of whom may also fall into the 40% who have contributed to the Finishing School. Now you we know. Or sort of know, as we have new-found co-blog-eration since our summer relaunch.

Enthusiastic Hello to the reader who found us through an Internet search AND stuck around to take our survey. You humble us, friend, and we hope you contribute soon.

When we asked what you would like to see more of, as a group (did you meet without us?) you asked for 2 items above all else:

You want to see more humor, and you are looking for new ideas from this space.

We found this so intimidating, we declared Finishing School Summer Hours and went into hiding.

We do try to amuse. We understand there is enough dreary in the workplace, and we are glad to give you a break from that. New Ideas?? We love 'em. We hope you have some, too.

Here's one that came over the transom today:

The Time Is Money meeting calculator by Bring TIM.com. 
"Simply enter the number of people in the room, ballpark an average hourly wage, and press the illuminated start button. Everyone will be amazed as the dollars pile up with every second that ticks by. Bring TIM!® is the ultimate conversation piece and gift idea for anyone that attends long business meetings. Doubles as an office clock. Money back guarantee if you are not delighted! "

your turn.

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The Readers Speak

Greetings from the Deans' Offices -
Thanks for your continued support and subscription. Over the past 6 months, we have made significant changes to the website -- from its format and content, to its contributing writers and regular features.
The more we learn about you, our readers, the better we can provide the kind of material you are looking for. Please take a few moments to complete our Reader's Survey at the link below. Your feedback is very important to us.
Many thanks,
Caroline Bender & Miss Minchin
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/5DHMLYS

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(book review) The Complete Guide to the Gap Year

Instructor, Caroline Bender

It is Spring in the hearts and minds of high school graduates and their parents everywhere.  In many homes, the arrival of the daily mail is a reason for gathering – sorting the fat envelopes from the skinny ones.  It is a bleak job market these new grads face.  Sadly, college may not be an immediate option for some of them, whose family future planning has been altered by unforeseen financial hardships.

The Class of 2010 may turn to the Gap Year in higher numbers than we have seen since draft deferments put working post-adolescence out of fashion.  For those considering time off between High School and College (or wondering if the investment of college will yield any higher rewards than not-college in the high-tech information/service sector age), The Finishing School recommends Kristen M White’s The Complete Guide to the Gap Year.

There are many such volumes produced every few years.  (You will see another 2009 guide in our book carousel at right).  As you might expect, reference like this are difficult to keep up to date, so you want to be sure you are selecing as current a version as you can before you call WorldCom about their entree level rotation program.  White's volume is about 40% directory, and a wide-range of opportunities it is, too -- including international service organizations, adventure-based leadership experiences, sports, academic, environmental, and language study.

The opening section breaks down the Gap Year decision and how to make it, establishing first and formost that is is not a vacation.  The Obama Administration's encouragement of a Service Year for all Americans has created new opportunities and highlighted long-standing ones such as AmeriCorps and the NCCC.  White writes that the Obama Administration "will also offer a $4000 tax credit in exchange for one hundred hours of public service per year, which will put the volunteer gap year within reach for many, many more students." (p 19)  The American Opportunity Tax Credit is part of the ARRA ("the stimulus"), and you can find out more here.

This book is written for serious-minded young people, and assumes a level of commitment and maturity of its reader.  Compared to the typical high school textbook, The Complete Guide seems almost dull, as if the author expects the student might only be reading one idea at a time!  Do not expect a lot of worksheets, assessments, CD-ROM companion videos or keywords in margin notes.  In fact, don't expect photographs and illustrations -- there are a few sidebars and one "ask yourself" box, but generally, this is straight information, delivered plainly.  Parents may wish to work through this with their student if s/he is not one to sit still for a 19-page opening chapter with only one "personal profile box."

You'll want to jump first to the Chapter Financing Your Gap Year for a breakdown of programs that are acually Free, Low-Cost, or federally assisted, and to learn more about scholarships, loans and grants for gap year experiences, support for sibling overlap (if your gap eventually  puts you and your brother in college at the same time, for example), an understanding of the tax deduction, and suggestions on extended health insurance.  With the financial fears addressed, you will be more open to the rest of White's message.

Most importantly, she explores the benefits of a year's experience -- a bridge or foundation year more than something to fill "a gap."  This is a real life-skill and career building option for today's graduate, which should not be dismissed as frivilous or unaffordable.

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The Kumbaya File

Instructor, Caroline Bender
Like many things I learned in the world of work,I learned this practice in the trenches with my foxhole buddy Jay. I was reminded of it today, when one of our favorite trench writers Pam Slim, of Escape from Cubicle Nation, guest posted on Gapingvoid.com an essay called "you, less than."  That is a lot of blogrolling.  Let me get to my point.  There is a lot more to click below.

In the course of your work life, you will encounter many stumbles where you may question your competence, your worthiness, the gifts and skills you came in with.  Sometimes this will go on for years -- but most of the time it is a momentary hiccup that left unmanaged could bring you to your knees.  Sometimes, your self-doubt is correct -- you really do need to kick it in gear and rediscover that other version of you lost in the shadows of your stress and "fatalistic attitude."

Prepare for these lean times by setting up your stores in times of plenty.  When you are paid a compliment, an especially nice Thank You, or a certificate of achievement, file it away in a place where you can retrieve it when you need that reminder.  Every child knows how to start and keep a treasure box, and somewhere along the way we stop doing it.  It doesn't mean we stop needing a moment to lie on our beds and sift through those small and seemingly insignificant things that are important to us.

In our youthful management days before electricity, the Kumbaya File was a green Pendaflex, mixed in with all the others that we literally named "Kumbaya."  Today, for me,  it is an email or desktop folder, though I still call it Kumbaya.  Some of the contents are formal and flowery, some are snarky and insidery.  Some say hello and some say good-bye.  What they have in common is they make me feel good about myself and remind me of the great rewards that come from random acts of professional kindess.  Artifacts like these can keep you grounded.
 
Remember to give as well as receive.  End this week by acknowledging one of your co-workers today.  Tell them something they do that you admire and ask for nothing in return.  And thank God it's Friday.

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The Mailroom is Open!

Letters, letters, we get letters!  Ok, we really don't.  And we think it is because we didn't have an email address.  So NOW.... one more way to contact the Finishing School.

bwfinishingschool@gmail.com

Contact us with ideas, comments, and Ask a Manager questions.

Please continue to

- Use the Comments field (if you are not a spammer.  You know we don't mean you)

- Visit our Facebook page (and share us with your Friends)

 

It's true, we don't Tweet.  But when would we post?

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Ask a Manager: Managing Up

Dick Whitman, Manager in Residence


Dear Manager, 

"Do you have any tips on how an underling should initiate a conversation with her boss about concerns she has regarding their working relationship? For example, my boss shows up late for meetings I am facilitating, gives me assignments that lead me to believe she thinks I'm her assistant, and she doesn't provide feedback in a timely manner, which slows my progress on projects. I'd like the conversation to be mature and productive, not a laundry list of things that are annoying me. Thanks for your input."



There are a few questions I’d love to ask you before sending you in for that tough conversation. If I had a little more detail, my guidance might be more direct, but ultimately what I’m going to tell you should lead to the same end result. So in preparing to address this situation, I’d suggest you analyze it from two additional points of view.


First, I’d like you to consider your boss’ behavior with others to determine if this is truly an issue with how she sees you or if these problems might be areas in which your boss needs to improve in general. For example, does your boss show up late for everyone’s meetings? This might not be an issue of your boss not respecting you. Maybe your boss has time management challenges, or better yet maybe your boss has had too damn much work piled on her plate and how can they expect her to find enough hours in the day to get through all of these endless back to back meetings!


Sigh. OK better now. Where were we?


I kid. But seriously, I would like you to try to truly understand whether you are being singled out with this behavior because, while it won’t necessarily change the words you use in raising the issue, it will give you some additional perspective as to how much of this issue is within your control.


In thinking this through, it’s ok to ask a few trusted peers for their input, but I would recommend you use your own powers of (objective) observation as much as possible. Going around asking everyone in the group if the boss treats them like an assistant would be  “stirring the pot”, and I’ve never been convinced that the input you get from this kind of thing is all that valid. I’ve had people come to me with complaints at times that end with “and everyone else feels that way too” and this always makes me picture the scene by the water cooler where heads are all nodding as the villagers are getting ready to storm the castle.


We managers have enough trouble trying to keep morale up in this economy. I would get kicked out of the managers’ union if this response were viewed as a recommendation to go pot-stirring. You can get more trustworthy results by observing the other meetings you are in with your boss where you are not in the lead, nd her interactions with those who are.

 The second bit of perspective to think about is your own interaction with others. Think about past bosses you have had as well as peers and others senior to you in the organization. Is this situation with your boss a new dynamic, or are you having a “here we go again” feeling?  This kind of exploration is important before having the conversation with your boss so you can truly understand if this is a pervasive problem that you want to break out of for the good of your long-term career or if this is truly an issue of your boss needing to change her behavior to better support you.

 Now if you take all of this above reflection and organize it in your head, you will hopefully have a pretty well-rounded view of the situation and the potential drivers. You won’t necessarily talk about your findings with your boss. They are meant to provide you with perspective to ground you and help you to steer the conversation.


I highly recommend that you stay away from anything that sounds like “we have problems with our relationship”. That risks putting your boss immediately on the defensive, which will cause you to exert a lot of time and emotion in the world of denial. Depending upon your boss’ personality, this can lead to all sorts of reactions ranging from hostility at the notion of her being challenged to a hypersensitive effort to do everything in the opposite way….and probably with that sugary-sweet fakeness that people try when they are called out on bad behavior. You know the one.


Think about the goals that each of you (should) have within the workplace. A boss wants her team to be effective so she will be successful as the leader of that team. A team is made up of individual employees. An employee wants to be effective, treated with respect, and see growth in her career.


I think the best way to lead into the discussion is to talk about where you fit within the group. The issue you are raising should be about your role, your impact, and your ability to be effective. It should be about how you think you are perceived based upon concrete things you have observed, and how you would like your boss to help you to change this perception so you can be more effective within her group for the benefit of both of you.


For example, “I would like to understand how you perceive me in terms of my ability and effectiveness….it is my perception that you might not see me at the same level I see myself and I would like to understand what I need to do to change your perception of me…I would like to contribute at a higher level, as I have expected my job to involve x, but I’m finding myself spending a lot of time doing y…”


You will notice that I putting a heavy burden on you to take the hit for “what you can do” to change the situation. While I do think that you need to be prepared to share in the solution, this is not to suggest that it is all on you. I have just found this approach to be disarming and to help to mitigate some of the natural defensiveness that your boss might feel if coming under what feels like criticism.


Now get ready. Your boss might tell you that your perception of how she views you is actually not correct from her perspective.
 work and you don’t need it.

• She might tell you that she gives you the tasks that make you feel like her assistant because she trusts you more than others to help her more directly.
• She might say that she shows up late for your meeting because she trusts you to run the show (or she might throw out some whiny excuses about her workload being too high).
• She might tell you that she doesn’t give you a lot of feedback because she’s just happy with your work and you don't need it.

If the conversation goes in this direction, it is important to emphasize what you need from your boss to be effective. You can accept and appreciate this new perspective from her, but stick to your guns with regard to your needs. Tell her that you would like to have her support in your meetings and that you want to get feedback so you can continue to improve.

Tell her that you want to have challenging assignments and you would like to have the opportunity to contribute at a higher level than you do now. From there, you will probably need to let that percolate a bit, but I am hopeful that over time you will see some changes stemming from the fact that you raised her awareness.

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